


Fractured

by FrankieFandom



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Explosions, Friends With Benefits, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Whump, hurt!Casey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 01:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11302854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieFandom/pseuds/FrankieFandom
Summary: The one where they finally admit their feelings to each other.





	1. You Want More?

**Author's Note:**

> Just short piece in a lovely little universe where a certain Mary Sue doesn't exist.

Casey was gathering his scattered items of clothing from around Severide's bed. The morning sun was casting rays through the bedroom windows. Severide was still on the bed, not a thread of clothing on and his manhood on display as Casey questioned somewhat urgently, "What is this? What are we doing?"

"Having mind-blowing sex every few days." Severide grinned from ear to ear, still reeling from their early morning activities.

"So what is this?" he questioned again, he needed to know, was this just sex? He didn't want that. He wanted to define what they were doing, he wanted Severide to tell him that it was more than just sex but he'd never reveal that, he wouldn't admit his need to be wanted.

"Friends with benefits…" Severide replied casually.

"Are you seeing other people?" he questioned as he pulled on his jeans.

"Not specifically…" Severide shrugged as Casey slipped his t-shirt on over his bed hair. He loved Casey's bed hair. He loved how he looked in the morning, especially that sort of dishevelled just had three rounds of sex look. That look he had right now. His eyes were glistening in the light. His lips were a little swollen, his arms a little marked from the roughness of Severide's hold because if he had the choice he'd never let go of him. But he wasn't about to admit that to Casey.

Casey's eyes fell, his lips parted slightly, trying to show Severide nothing but showing him all too much. The man knew him too well.

"You want more?" Severide questioned. Of course he was right because he knew when Casey was in something he put his all into it.

"If you don't care then I don't." And with that Casey left through the front door.

"Casey hold up…" He burst out the door after him, still wearing only his boxers.

"I gotta go," Casey stated. "Thought you never wanted us to turn up at shift at the same time… I'll see you later… Lieutenant Severide."

Severide sighed heavily as he watched Casey go. Damnit. This wasn't happening. He was falling in love. Scrap that. He'd already fallen in love. He cared way too much. And he kept letting him walk away.

* * *

As the clock hit 8am Severide strode into the station, that morning's conversation played heavily on his mind, he didn't want to give it a second thought but he couldn't ignore the look on Casey's face and he couldn't ignore the feelings he held towards him. The feelings he'd held towards him for a lot longer than he wanted to admit to himself. But he didn't want things to go any further. He didn't want to jeopardise what they had going, he didn't want to jeopardise their friendship but perhaps he'd already done that. He knew the question that Casey had really wanted to ask him was – are we exclusive? Are we a 'we'?

And the truth was Severide hadn't slept with anyone since that incredible night two months ago because he really didn't want to be with anyone else but Casey. So why didn't he tell him that? Why didn't he put the man out his misery and tell him the truth?

Because he was scared. Lieutenant Kelly Severide was scared. And now he was sitting at the squad table because he didn't want to see Casey, because if he saw him he'd want to apologise, he'd want to explain, but he was being stubborn, Casey would call him pig-headed. But he wasn't going to apologise because what if he'd just read him wrong.

* * *

Casey had retreated to his quarters once he poured himself a steaming hot cup of coffee. He sat at his desk staring blankly ahead, his head repeating that morning's conversation. Was he being an idiot for not just coming out with it? Why couldn't he just tell Severide that he wanted more, that he needed it? Perhaps he'd realised the truth already, he'd known Severide for such a long time, knew he didn't do commitment, he'd been scared off it with past experiences, he was all about the sex but Casey needed more than that. Not that the sex wasn't great. It was more than great. But he needed something more, he wanted commitment. He wanted it because he didn't want to end up spending his life alone. And he wanted to be with Severide, they fit, they were at ease with each other, knew what the other was thinking, and it just felt so good and so right to be in Severide's arms.

Damnit. What were they doing? Did he really want more? He was more than certain he did but what if it jeopardised what they had going? He didn't want that.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and a beaming smile belonging to Herrmann. He waved the man in. "All right?"

"Think you can come by the bar tomorrow?"

"And give you some quotes? Sure," he smiled, "Not doin' it for free."

"I get discount though, right?"

"Do I get free drinks every time I come in to the bar?"

"Now that would just be bad for your health Lieutenant," Herrmann grinned back, "Only thinking of you."

"What are you being roped into now?" It was Severide, he was stood behind Herrmann, almost staring at Casey.

"I'll be with you about 11am, that ok?" he questioned Herrmann.

Herrmann nodded and left.

"We need to talk." Severide walked in and closed the door.

"We do, but not now." He gave a nod of agreement.

"You wanted to talk this morning?"

"That was this morning," he replied, "Now we're at work. Keeping the two very separate, right? That's what you want…"

"I don't really know what I want. All I know is that I…"

_"_ _Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Battalion 25. Structure fire…"_

* * *

Truck 81 was first on scene. That meant Casey was in charge of this one until Boden turned up. Immediately he detected the sweet sickly smell of gas. He took note of the large sign on the side of the building. Harwood and Sons Glass. Smoke was already billowing up behind it. A middle aged man ran over the forecourt towards him.

"I'm the manager... there's more people inside..." the man coughed out.

"Know where?" Casey voiced loudly. He could hear Squad 3 roll up next to his truck.

"Back office area and shop floor I think... there was an explosion…" the man explained.

Boden and Severide strode up and flanked Casey as he was asking, "Got any explosive chemicals in there?"

"No," the man answered him, "But someone smelled gas..."

"Right," Boden ordered, "Casey, Severide, two teams each. Search and rescue. Get this gas turned off. Anyone called the gas company yet?"

"Mills with me," Casey called out as he readied his SCBA, "Herrmann with Cruz. Otis, ladder. Mouch, gas shut off valve."

Severide lugged his own tank onto his back and gave his own crew orders. "Capp with me, Tony and Clarke."

Now their adrenaline rush kicked in. Determination. Excitement. Fear even. The rush of the rescue. Casey and Severide thrived on it. By the time they entered through the front doors the place was already an inferno and fire was rolling. They knew they wouldn't have long.

"Severide, we'll take the left!" Casey shouted above the roar.

"Copy that," Severide's voice came back.

Everyone was moving quickly.

* * *

Casey and Mills were in the back of the factory by the kilns. They had got one victim out and returned to search for others. Herrmann and Cruz were each carrying a victim to the exit, stepping over debris and dodging fire pockets as they went. The gas had been turned off at the mains but more was lingering unseen in the building, waiting for its chance to ignite. Severide and Capp had cleared the right side of the building and were heading out past stacks of large glass sheets behind Clarke and Tony when Boden's voice crackled over the radio. _"Give me an update..."_

"We're pulling out Chief. Casey and Mills are just finishing clearing the back," Severide replied as Squad made their way out of the front of the building

 _"Casey, you don't have long,"_ Boden warned.

"Copy Chief. Just one guy left. But we got him," Casey replied.

 _"Make it quick then,"_ Boden responded.

Mills was helping the final victim out with Casey right behind him when he heard a creaking and groaning. Something was about to go up. Mills wasn't going to be able to move fast enough while he was supporting most of the victim's weight so Casey shot forward and shoved him out of the way as the blast hit.

The force of the explosion flung Casey back more than half way across the factory floor, dumping him in debris several yards away from where Mills lay on top of the victim he had been carrying. Exactly in the spot that Casey had shoved him to a few seconds earlier.

* * *

Everyone heard the explosion that came from within the factory. Severide looked back at the door he had just come out of, watching and hoping to see Casey and Mills walking out carrying that last victim between them. One minute. Nothing. Damnit. Casey was still inside. Fuck. Severide was already putting his mask back on when Boden's voice boomed into the radio. "Casey? You copy?"

Silence.

"Mills? Copy?"

Again no response.

"We'll get 'em Chief," Severide said firmly. "Capp, Tony, with me." He donned his helmet and headed back inside.

* * *

Casey groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. Why the hell did everything hurt so much? Everything was muffled, as if he was underwater. He couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything. He squeezed his eyes closed. Still nothing. He could feel the heat of the roaring flames. He was in the middle of a damn fire and he couldn't see a thing. Couldn't hear anything. Save for a strange encompassing buzzing noise. Of course. His mask. The inside was splattered with blood. He must have hit his head. That explained why it felt as if it would burst open at any second. He reached up one hand to pull off his mask. Just that tiny movement sent agony round his body. But he could see.

The air was smoke filled and hot. He struggled to breathe but he could see, although his eyes stung. He was coughing and spluttering as he tried to move from the awkward position he was lying in on his back. He had landed on his oxygen tank. It was pushing him over onto his left side. Damn. That was gonna leave a mark. He couldn't even get onto his elbows. Too much pain. Then he tried to roll to his left but agony stopped him. He didn't know what his injuries were yet. He just knew he needed to see if anyone else was down, to get everyone out of this inferno and then he could think about himself.

Suddenly he realised there was someone with him. Hands were grabbing his arms. Someone was saying something in the distance but all Casey could hear was his own heartbeat and blood rushing through his head. His own increasingly ragged breaths. He tried to move again, tried to sit up.

* * *

"Casey! Stop moving!" Severide yelled, attempting to stop Casey struggling. Piles of razor blade sharp glass had shattered all around Casey and concrete debris covered his legs. "Stop moving Case!" Severide shouted again.

But Casey wasn't listening to him. Severide could have cursed him. But he had to keep his cool. Damnit this was Casey though.

"And put your damn mask back on!" he yelled down at him.

What the hell was going on with Casey? He seemed to be in a world of his own, but at least he had stopped trying to move. Severide guessed he must have hit his head or the blast had caused an injury to his face. That would explain Casey's seeming confusion and the amount of blood.

"Casey, you gotta stay still now until we can get this stuff off you, ok?"

He and Capp were still removing handfuls of glass shards off Casey's torso and pulling concrete debris off his legs. For the most part his turnout gear had done its job as regards the glass, but Severide was less sure about the debris that had smashed into his legs.

 _"Severide how you doing?"_ Boden's voice came through his radio.

"We're with Casey, need an ambo waiting."

 _"You've not got long,"_ Boden called back.

Severide quickly but carefully pulled away more debris, noticing some shards of glass embedded in his gear. Fuck. They better not be embedded in his skin. In his flesh and organs. Severide could imagine what damage they may have done. Fuck. In the light of the flames he couldn't tell what was blood, or even if there was blood. Fuck.

"Ok, Lieutenant we're clear," Capp announced.

"Can you walk?" Severide questioned Casey. "We need to get out of…"  
  
Just to prove his point, another explosive wave of flames burst out just a few yards from where Casey still lay. Instinctively Severide dived right on top to protect him. Capp was right by his side. Casey remained quite still and didn't so much as flinch. Severide pushed himself up and stared down at him. The idiot still hadn't put his mask back on.  
  
"Casey! Put your mask on!" Severide must have said it three times now.

No response. This time he picked up the mask himself and slipped it over Casey's bloody face.

Something wasn't right. Severide couldn't pinpoint it exactly but he knew something wasn't right at all.


	2. Can You Hear Me?

Casey just stared upward at the two squad men. Aware that his vision was blurring. He couldn't understand what Severide was even saying to him. Everything was still muffled except for the sound of his own harsh breaths. His head was throbbing fiercely and his chest was getting tighter and tighter.

Then he was blind again. The damn mask. Severide had put his mask back on. The oxygen was a welcome relief but now he couldn't see anything. And he still couldn't hear anything except strange noises. He still couldn't grasp where he was or what had happened to him. Was anyone else hurt? Thoughts were crashing into his head and vanishing just as quickly. He couldn't pin anything down. He couldn't think straight.

All of a sudden Casey felt himself being hauled to his feet. He let out a groan of pain but it was muffled and jumbled up with all the other sounds echoing around the inside of his head. His legs wouldn't take his weight and kept collapsing under him as he was moved

Left leg.

Right leg.

Left leg.

Right leg.

Concentrate he told himself. But he couldn't. If it weren't for the strong grip he felt on his arms hauling him forwards he would have fallen. Everything hurt. But if everything hurt, that must be good, right? He couldn't pick out one source of pain so he figured he wasn't seriously injured. But his mask was blinding him and he couldn't understand anything. He just couldn't work out what had happened and what the hell was wrong because something was definitely very wrong.

Left leg.

Right leg.

Left leg.

Right leg.

* * *

Severide and Capp each had one arm around Casey, and were taking nearly all of his weight as they pulled him out of the building and across to one of the waiting ambulances. Severide removed Casey's mask and oxygen tank and they lifted him onto the gurney.

"What we got, Lieutenant?" one of the paramedic's asked Severide.

"Matt Casey, truck lieutenant at 51," Severide told him. "He was covered in glass and debris... think the explosion threw him..."

"Ok, we got it Severide," the paramedic reassured him.  
  
The paramedic pulled back one of Casey's now bruised eyelids and flashed a penlight into his pupil to check the reaction. He repeated it on the other eye and Casey tried to screw up his eyes to stop the intrusive piercing brightness.  
  
"Lieutenant, can you hear me?" the paramedic was asking, making Severide's heart pound.

Casey's hand was still grasping Severide's arm. Why wasn't Casey responding to the question? Why wasn't he saying he was fine? Why was he so silent? Did he even realise he was out of the burning building and in the safety of the ambulance?

"Lieutenant, can you hear me?" the paramedic repeated, far louder this time.

Casey seemed totally disorientated, looking round the inside of the ambulance in a state of confusion that Severide had only once seen before. Blood was still pooling from his nose and thin trails of red ran from both ears down his neck. Head injury? Severide was asking himself. Damn it Casey. You have to be okay. You have to be.

"Casey?" Severide questioned loudly as he stepped in front of him, bending a little so he was eye level with him.

"What..?" Casey's expression was of utter trepidation, he seemed completely lost.

"Can you remember what hap..." one of the paramedics began to ask him, but he was cut off.

"Can't hear…" Casey just shook his head slightly. "It's just noise..."

Severide tried not to let his worry show, he gave Casey's arm a reassuring squeeze in the hope he'd understand that he had been understood.

The paramedics had begun to remove Casey's turnout gear, starting with his gloves and boots. But his jacket and pants had to be left alone. There were several large shards of glass which were clearly embedded in Casey's flesh and since they had no idea how deeply they had penetrated, they daren't risk disturbing them for fear they may be stopping Casey from bleeding out. His coughing was also getting worse and he was fetching up thick black sputum so they knew time was of the essence. They loaded him and left the scene. Leaving Severide behind with his heart in his throat.

* * *

The rush of movement around Casey was dizzying and he still couldn't hear anything properly as the paramedics tried to talk to him and ask him questions. They were exchanging concerned looks as they worked on him, clearly worried about his altered state. Casey wished Severide was there because he couldn't work out what the hell was going on. He was barely able to think. One moment he had been lying on the floor amid debris and fire and the next moment he was in an ambulance. And he knew Severide would know what was happening.

He felt pulling and tugging on this right arm as the paramedics cut away of his turnout jacket sleeve. Then the same on his left arm. Then a sharp sting as they inserted an IV into his arm. Casey tried to move. Tried to see what it was. But he couldn't move. Something was holding him down tightly. He gave up and sank down onto his back. That hurt a hell of a lot now. But so did everything else.

Suddenly a smiling face came into his field of vision and a scrap of paper was being held above him. He could see letters written on it but couldn't make sense of the words. His eyes wouldn't focus and the pain in his head was too bad. His throat hurt like hell. His chest was tightening and he started to cough.

Someone slipped something over Casey's bloodied face. It was familiar but he couldn't quite think what it was. Why the hell was everything so confusing? And fragmented? Why couldn't he move? And why wasn't Severide with him? And what the hell had even happened?

Casey tried to speak. But no voice would come out. No one noticed him. He reached up and pulled the mask to one side. "What happened?" he managed to croak out, his words echoed and clattered around inside his head.

The scrap of paper reappeared. Casey could see a word written there but his brain couldn't put the letters in an order he could understand. And the struggle to remain conscious grew too much for him.

* * *

As they trundled Casey into the ER department of Lakeshore hospital, one of the paramedics was relaying information to the medical team who were taking over his care. "Got a firefighter, Lieutenant Matt Casey, 33, thrown by a gas explosion, blood in ears and nose, and he's unable to hear. Resps rapid, coughing up black sputum, O2 stats dropping. Left quadrant tender and swollen. In and out of consciousness. He's had five of morphine."

"Ok. Get him into Trauma Three!" the ER doctor ordered.

* * *

Severide was pacing up and down. Up and down. All of 51 were sitting in the ER waiting area now but no one dared go near him or stop him. The rigs were outside the hospital. Everyone was still in their turnout gear. All were waiting for news on Casey.

Severide was agitated. Fuck this was bad. Casey couldn't hear anything. Maybe it was just from the explosion. From what Mills had told him, Casey had pushed him out of the way, placing himself in the direct path of the explosion. Damn Casey for being so selfless. He always put himself last. Damn Casey for making him worry so much. What if he really did have a serious head injury though? Severide was convinced he had. There had been so much blood. His boy's blood. His boy. Had he really just called Casey that? Casey was his boy though. At least that's what Severide wanted him to be. Now he may never get the chance to tell him he loved him. What if his head was so badly injured that he needed surgery? What if... what if he died? God. No. Casey couldn't die. He was Casey. He always made it through, right? But what if he made it and he had lost his hearing permanently? No. It would only be for a while. Probably already worn off. Casey would already be awake and insisting he was fine and didn't need to be in the hospital. Yeah. That's what would be happening right now. He wouldn't need any surgery. He'd be fine. A headache maybe, but nothing major.

"Matt Casey's family?" a male voice broke into Severide's whirling thoughts. He turned to see a doctor standing there in blood spattered scrubs. Immediately he strode up to the man and others gathered around, anxious for news of their truck lieutenant.

"How is he?" Severide questioned.

"He has a severe concussion and his eardrums have been perforated..." the doctor began.

"That permanent?" Severide asked.

"We don't think so. The holes are small and should heal on their own. He should be able to hear more clearly in a few days. Total hearing should return eventually," the doctor was as reassuring as he could be at this stage. "We will have to admit him, his spleen is swollen and needs close monitoring, and there is some minor smoke inhalation. He has a lot of bruising and some lacerations which need cleaning up and stitching."

"And his head's ok?" Severide questioned. Casey had been so confused and disorientated at the scene that he was sure he must have a head injury of some sort.

"Like I said, he has a severe concussion. Any knock to the head is serious but his scans were clean so that's good. But we'll keep him monitored in case there's any change."

"Can we see him?" Severide was getting impatient to see Casey.

"Family only..." the doctor's voice was almost questioning.

"He hasn't any family," Severide replied quickly, "Well, none to speak of..." Family history had estranged Casey from his family a long time ago and Severide didn't even know where they were anyway. He very much doubted Casey did either. "I'm his emergency contact. I can see him, right?" If he couldn't he would barge his way forcibly into Casey's room when they had finished treating him. He couldn't stand to be away from him another minute.

Fortunately for Severide he wouldn't need to barge or force his way anywhere. The doctor nodded and motioned him to follow. "I'll take you to see him."

* * *

Oh God. Casey was such a mess. Judging by the amount of bruising that covered his whole body, Severide was surprised that nothing was broken. He stood back out of the way as he watched the nurse working on him. Stitching the wounds. Wiping away the blood still trickling from his nose and ears. So much blood.

"He's had morphine, but he's awake if you want to let him know you're here," she turned and told Severide.

He was shocked at what she told him. He thought Casey would be unconscious but he supposed they couldn't just knock him out. But he was awake. But would Casey want him here though? Maybe he should just leave. It would be like he was never there. And Casey would never know anyway. He was too out of it by the look of things. He'd made sure that Casey was still alive. He'd made sure he was still in one piece. That was enough for friends to do, right? Thing is, they weren't just friends, were they? And Severide did want more. And every fibre of his being was telling him to go up to Casey. To hold his hand. To tell him he loved him.

Damnit. His legs were already moving. He was following his heart and not his brain. Or perhaps he was following both? Hell, he didn't know what it was he was doing. He just knew he wanted to get close to Casey.

"Hey..." he began. He shook his head. Idiot. Casey couldn't hear anything. ln fact his eyes were barely open so he probably wouldn't see Severide either. Must be on some good drugs then. Casey didn't flinch as the nurse pulled needle and thread through his flesh. Definitely good drugs, Severide decided.

Casey's racoon eyes looked up at Severide, but he wasn't sure if Casey actually sensed he was there or not. So instead of speaking, instead of saying 'I'm sorry about this morning Matt,' he just gently took hold of Casey's hand, watchful of one of the IV lines that were feeding who knows what into his veins. He was too out of it to talk to, even if he could have heard Severide anyway.

Severide stood there for a while holding Casey's hand. Until Boden appeared outside the room. Time to get back on shift at 51. Severide wanted to protest. To tell the chief he couldn't leave Casey on his own. But in reality he knew Casey would be fine. He shouldn't be making a big deal out of it. But his heart was screaming at him. Telling him to stay with Casey. And it broke when he had to walk away.


	3. Is This Official?

When Casey first woke it was with confusion, but there had been a nurse waiting by his side. He'd wondered if that had been just good timing or they thought he was likely to panic when he realised he couldn't hear. She showed him a whiteboard and he finally understood the words that were written. She explained how he'd been caught in the blast of an explosion, explained that the hearing loss was temporary. After that he couldn't be bothered to speak, too bad a headache. So he closed his eyes and slept.

The second time he woke he was alone. He knew he was in a hospital room but why was he there? There was no one there to ask so he just closed his eyes and let himself drift off again.

Casey was much more aware the third time he woke. This time there was a nurse standing over him.

"Wha… happened?" he coughed out, "What's all... the noise?"

She gave him a cheery smile and retrieved the whiteboard from the side counter, it explained everything. Casey eyes followed the words and he understood, remembering what had happened to him.

"Everyone ok?"

The board disappeared but was back a few moments later. 'NO-ONE ELSE ADMITTED. YOU DID A GOOD JOB.'

* * *

For Casey, being unable to hear wasn't hugely daunting but it did frustrate him not being able to understand everything that was going on around him. Casey had always been very good at picking up on emotions and thoughts, so he wasn't finding it hard to understand people if they made signs and signals and used facial expressions in order to communicate. But he didn't like not knowing quite what was going on around him, not knowing exactly what people were saying. He couldn't carry on much of a conversation with anyone and it was quite isolating.

Everything sounded as if he was underwater now and although he tried to concentrate totally on what was being said, he couldn't yet work out the words, nor could he lip read. At least the doctors had told him it was most likely only going to be temporary. It seemed that his whole future hung on those two words. Most likely. His whole life would change if it should turn out to be permanent. Sure, he could keep his construction business. May need a few adjustments here and there. But there never had been nor ever could be such a thing as a deaf firefighter.

Severide was sitting by him now. A reassuring figure in what was, for Casey, a disorientating world. He'd been in the hospital for just over twenty-four hours now but had been up and about with help from the nurses. Thank God they hadn't needed to catheterise him. No way had he wanted that.

Everything was blurring into one for him. Hours. Days. Memories. The doctor had told Casey that he had been really lucky. No broken bones. No internal bleeding. The shards of glass that had pierced his turnout gear due to the force of the explosion hadn't hit anything vital. Just flesh wounds. They had all been stitched and he would have been released that day if the doctors weren't so concerned that his spleen could rupture, as was often the case with such an injury. Traumatised from the impact his limp body had made on the ground.  
  
All things considered he didn't feel too bad. He'd been lucky really just as the doctor had said. It could have been much worse. Although every time he moved everything hurt. Every time he moved Severide was next to him in a second. He'd shake his head each time letting Severide know he didn't need anything. He was fine. He was ok. And his eyes told Severide – thanks for being here.

* * *

Severide dropped his head into his hands. Sighing heavily. There was still a chance his condition could suddenly deteriorate. Otherwise Casey would have been released.

As Severide watched Casey sleeping he wondered if he would remember the last conversation they'd had the morning of the explosion. Should he bring it up? He wanted to. And he wanted to tell Casey how he felt. That he did want more. But he was petrified of what that could mean. Severide was scared of his own feelings but when he had seen Casey lying there unresponsive among flames and burning debris, covered in glass, he had realized that Casey was exactly what he wanted. He could never let him go. He would never let him go again.

He sat in silence for the most part, watching nurses and doctors come in and out of Casey's room, checking on him. But he was asleep most of the day. Whenever he did move Severide was quick to be by his side in case he needed anything. Was he in pain? Thirsty? Uncomfortable? Needed the bathroom?

When Casey's eyes flickered open he smiled down at him. He loved his eyes. They really were beautiful. He became lost in them on so many occasions. Even bruised they were stunning. He was always surprised that so few people fell head over heels for him but Casey was very adept at pretending to be invisible in a room full of people. He never liked the focus to be on him. Not even when it was just the two of them. His boy had so many issues. There he went again. Calling Casey his boy. Damnit. He was getting real possessive lately.

* * *

Forty-eight hours had now passed since Casey had been admitted. Severide found himself sitting by Casey again in the hospital. He'd only been forced home by the strict visiting hours. Why were visiting hours even in place? It wasn't as if Severide would be disturbing anyone. Casey couldn't even hear the rustle the magazine he was reading to occupy himself.

From the way Casey had his eyes almost closed, and the expression he held, Severide could tell Casey was in some kind of pain. His head most likely since he preferred the lights kept to a minimum. And he wasn't at all surprised. That could go on for a while. The hit he had taken had been enough to blacken both his eyes and bloody his nose among other things. God. Casey was so lucky in a weird sort of way. Unlucky to have been injured but lucky it wasn't so much worse. But it could still become worse. Severide had arrived just after the doctor made his rounds and he had spoken to Casey's nurse. She's told him that Casey's spleen was still swollen. Still in danger of rupturing. Still in danger of bleeding out before they could get him into surgery and repair the damage. That was why they couldn't release him yet. But everyone said how lucky he had been considering what had happened to him

Suddenly Casey was trying to sit up. Grunting and groaning in pain as he did. Severide reached for the bed control and moved it up to save Casey the effort. "Thanks," he croaked, "Bathroom..."

Severide was by his side in an instant. He nodded, asking Casey if he was ok. He offered his hand for support.

"I'm good…" Casey got up and moved away from his extended hand

Dismayed by Casey's casual dismissal, Severide just stood watching him shuffle slowly and stiffly to the bathroom. He couldn't help but stare at all the bruising and stitches. He was so bruised. So hurt. In so much more than just the physical sense. Severide wanted to scoop him up. Hug him. Comfort him.

When he heard the toilet flush Severide moved close to the bathroom door. But Casey refused to accept any help. Instead he simply stood in front of Severide and said simply, "You don't need to be here."

"Damnit Casey, I…" Severide began to reply, realizing with a thrill of annoyance at himself that Casey couldn't hear what he was saying. He turned round and grabbed the whiteboard and pen. By the time he had, Casey was standing next to him, placing a bruised hand over his. Stopping him from writing.

"It's ok. I know," Casey told him. Severide's thought must have shown clearly on his face. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't care. And if it's because we're friends, or more than that, I don't mind."

A soft kiss to the lips told Casey what he needed to know. Or so he hoped. Because he did think of Casey as more than a friend. Much more. And much more than the casual friends with benefits comment that he had made.

* * *

When the nurse walked in Severide didn't break away from Casey. Didn't pull back and spoil the moment. And considering it could have been anyone from the firehouse or anyone at all really that was saying something. The nurse just smiled when Casey was free from Severide's kiss. She motioned to check if he was ok and he nodded. Smiling. He was more than ok now. Severide lingered by his side while he got back into bed. His whole body just ached. Not really painfully, but he just found it incredibly hard to move.

Severide mouthed three perfect words to him as the nurse checked his lines and examined his bruised abdomen. He couldn't hear Severide but he knew exactly what he had said. I love you. He'd said he loved him. Casey's heart flipped. He could sense the blood rush around his body more acutely than before. Severide loved him. He loved him. He wasn't just another casual fling. Not just another notch on Severide's bedpost. Not just a casual fling. Severide loved him.

But what if Severide was only saying that because he was stuck in this hospital room? What if it was just heightened emotion that had made him say it? Was it some sort of platitude? Damnit. Why couldn't he just trust Severide's words and take them as truth? Because those three words were all that Casey needed. All that he wanted. So why did he find them so hard to believe? Why was that inner voice of Casey's trying to persuade him that Severide had only said it because he was hurt? Because he wanted him to feel better?

* * *

After four days in Lakeshore Casey was released. His hearing had improved a little. His wounds and bruises were starting to heal. The doctors were positive he would make a full recovery. Thank God. Because Severide knew how much Casey's job meant to him. And it wasn't just his career that would be on the line. His whole life would change.

Severide helped Casey to change from the hospital gown he was wearing into the clothes he had brought for him. Soft slouchy joggers and a hoody. Nothing that would snag at his bruises or stitches. Casey's movements were stiff and awkward. His entire body still ached. The worst bruising was concentrated on his back and left hand side where he had landed on his oxygen tank. Severide joked that with his two black eyes from the blast slamming his head onto the ground he looked as if he had been in a bar fight.

He picked up Casey's duffel bag and quickly showed Casey the whiteboard. 'MY PLACE?'

Casey just shook his head a little. "Just want to go home," he replied simply, "That ok?"

Severide smiled. "Of course," he nodded, trying to mouth the words so Casey would understand what he was saying.  
  
He smiled back at Severide. He understood. Neither of them had needed to write much down the last couple of days. They'd know each other long enough to understand each other's thoughts without many words.

* * *

That first night back from the hospital they lay together. Next to each other. All Severide wanted to do was to hold Casey. To have him close. To feel him there. To touch him. To hold him close. To have him in his arms. But he was scared of hurting his battered body. He had tears in his eyes when Severide had helped him undress. Helped him undress. Severide loved those words. They really meant something special to him. Casey had remained as still as he was able as Severide had removed his clothing. If he could have heard him, Severide would have joked that in hindsight, despite its not so seductive fashion statement that they should have kept the hospital gown. But Casey still couldn't hear. Although he could sense loud noises now. As they had been leaving the hospital a door somewhere nearby had slammed and Casey had immediately turned in the direction the sound had come from. Severide had smiled when that happened. His boy was going to recover. He would be just fine.

He thought Casey must have fallen asleep but a mop of blond hair moved closer and was soon resting against his chest. He searched for one of Casey's hands and held it. Squeezing it softly. Comfortingly. Lovingly.

"Don't move," Severide suddenly heard Casey murmur, "I can hear your heart beating."

Severide smiled to himself at the grown man who was resting against his bare chest. Telling him not to move. Well, Casey didn't need to worry. He wasn't going anywhere. He could feel Casey's breaths on his chest. A swirl of warmth. He put an arm gently around him and Casey soon relaxed into the hold. No pain. That was good. He never wanted to cause Casey pain. Physical or emotional. He'd had enough of those in his life. Severide was never going to let him walk away again. He would never say anything that would cause that look he'd seen in Casey's eyes when he'd dismissed their relationship as being so casual. He wanted more. Casey wanted more. Well, they would have more together.

* * *

Severide went about making breakfast in Casey's kitchen a few mornings later whilst he was taking a shower. They were fortunate that Herrmann and Cindy had dropped by with some fresh food and home cooked meals. Neither of them had thought to go grocery shopping before Casey had been discharged. Casey had also had numerous offers for rides and help around the house until he was fully recovered. When 51 said they were a family, it was true. They really meant it. And for Casey that was especially significant since he had none of his own to speak of.

He flipped the pancakes onto a plate and was going to call to Casey but then realized it would be useless. He looked over at the bathroom door. Casey had been in there quite a while and he couldn't help but worry. He tried to rid his head of the image of Casey having fallen in the tub with blood pooling around his head. Eyes dead to the world. No. He was just sore. Very sore. He wasn't moving as quickly as he normally would. And maybe he was just taking his time to enjoy the shower. Severide tried to convince himself. No. He would have to go and check. And tell him breakfast was ready.

He knocked loudly on the bathroom door. Loudly enough for Casey to hear it, he hoped. He had been able to hear some things Severide had said that morning. Casey had explained that it just sounded like a whisper amongst the background noise of his muffled head, but he had heard and that had made them both smile as they lay underneath the covers.

There was no response. So Casey either hadn't heard or something was wrong. Or both.

Severide couldn't help himself. He burst into the bathroom. "Matt?" he called as he pulled back the shower curtain. Casey was standing naked under the shower stream and was startled at Severide's sudden appearance. He clearly hadn't heard Severide's knock at the door nor his call.

Casey just turned towards him and stepped out of the shower, just leaning straight into Severide's arms, trying to stop himself shaking. "Sorry…" he was mumbling.

Severide took Casey's arms and pushed him slightly away so he would be able to see his face. So he would see his lips and his eyes. So they could communicate. "Hey. Hey. You're ok," he nodded at Casey, trying to reassure him. "What's happened?" he hoped Casey could tell what he was saying. His hands remained gripping Casey's wrists, "Matt?"

"Huh… erm I'm ok... sorry if I worried you... couldn't hear you…" Casey was half laughing but Severide knew he was far from being ok.

"Talk to me Matt," Severide spoke as clearly as he could, urging Casey with his eyes.

Casey's breaths soon slowed. "I just closed my eyes. Was back there... sorry... being an idiot as usual..."

Severide smiled and shook his head. He couldn't even begin to imagine how disorientating everything still was for Casey. No wonder he was shaken by the flood of memories in the noise of the shower. And God knows how he was coping with not being able to hear. That was something Severide wouldn't be taking for granted again as well. He rubbed Casey's back as he reached blindly for a towel, he wrapped it around the wet athletic form in front of him, slowly and gently patting dry every inch of his dripping body.

* * *

"Hey." Casey grinned as Severide walked through his own front door five weeks after the explosion.

"Well, I guess from that dorky grin of yours that you got the all clear yesterday?"

"I did," he was still grinning.

"Well, next time don't leave me in the dark," Severide reprimanded, still smiling though. "I need to know you're ok."

"Oh yeah? Were ya thinking about me then?"

"Nah not really... but the guys were bugging me about it all shift," Severide laughed.

"How was shift?"

"Other than being inundated with questions about your wellbeing it was good. Nothing much to tell." Severide dumped his bag and jacket and went to sit by Casey on the couch. His tone and expression took on a more serious tone. "You did get the all clear, right?"

"Yeah. One more check-up then I'll be back on active duty," Casey told him.

"Good," Severide nodded.

Casey was somewhat crestfallen at Severide's response to his news. Severide's mood seemed to have fallen. He'd been happy but now he didn't seem to be as pleased as Casey had hoped he would be. The weeks leading up to yesterday's appointment with the CFD medical officer had been filled with reassurances from him. He had constantly been telling Casey that everything would be fine. That he had nothing to worry about. That his hearing was fine now and if he himself were a doctor he would be clearing him.

Casey could detect something was going on in Severide's head that he wasn't telling him. "What is it?" He just stared into Severide's serious face, not quite knowing what to make of it.

"Matt… I want more," Severide said simply.

He wanted more. He knew he wanted more. More than just sex. More than mind-blowing sex. He meant way more to Severide than that. Way more to him than friends with benefits.

"You want more?" Casey repeated, questioning what Severide had just said. Why was he only just telling him this now? Doubts started to creep into Casey's thoughts. Why hadn't he said this five weeks earlier? He just looked at Severide as he continued, searching his face. Wondering if what he was saying was true.

"I want more than before, Matt. You mean more to me than anything in the world. I want us to be together. Officially," Severide's face had a hopeful smile, "I kinda wanted that to be the first thing you heard when you got the all clear."

"I could hear fine a week ago Kel…" Casey threw back.

"You hadn't got the official all clear though. And I want us to be official as well. There's been no one else. There won't be anyone else..."

There wouldn't be anyone else? Kelly Severide. Serial womaniser. Had just told him there'd be no one else in his life. He'd only been with him. And he didn't want to be with anyone else.

After a few moments of slightly awkward silence Severide spoke, "So is this official?"

"I'm hearing this right then? You want more?" he was still stunned.

"How many times do I have to say it?" Severide laughed. "I love you Matthew Casey."


End file.
